I’ve never been bothered about growing older. Admittedly, I’m into my clothes, accessories and makeup, but despite that, I’ve always believed that my worth was based on much more than my appearance. Growing older, working hard and being a mother inevitably takes its toll on the way you look, and as a result, I find myself accepting the dark circles and various effects of gravity.
Having said that, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time thinking about my birthday this year. So why? Is turning 40 a sign of middle-age rapidly approaching, the official end of being young and silly, or is the cliche that this is when life begins really true? So… what’s been on my mind?
I’m just too old to put up with this sh*t. I thought that being 30 was the unofficial start of being unwilling to put up with the unrealistic demands of others, whether it’s from your partner, employer, or any other significant others. Goodness… that’s got nothing on 40. As a busy working mom, I’ve just haven’t got the time for things I don’t want to get sucked into, and it’s liberating. It also means I’ve got valid reasons for politely side-stepping and I can let go of any guilt or responsibility I don’t choose to hold on to.
It’s a brilliant excuse to do something you’d never do. Don’t get me wrong; you can always do something you’d never thought you would do, but this is a great opportunity to take stock of what you’ve done and what you never got chance to. Lets face it, you’ve probably got a little more cash behind you, you probably give less of a sh*t about what others think, and well… we don’t need any other reasons to justify our behaviour to feel better about ourselves, do we? Some of my friends who have hit this milestone before me have started horse-riding and bought a horse, made a bucket list of crazy ideas, thrown amazing parties and changed careers. Food for thought.
I’ve still got more of my career in front of me than behind me. This is either incredibly depressing, or incredibly exciting. Continuing my previous train of thought… after over 15 years in my current role, I’ve realised that I can just change my direction and if I’m brave and a little bit savvy, I can use my skills and build a work life that’s truly fulfilling.
I still wouldn’t turn back the clock and have any part of my youth again. Definitely not those awkward angst-ridden teenage years, not those 20-something years where I was just starting out and unsure of everything, and not those 30-something years where I felt like I was starting to earn my place and realise what my priorities were. Each stage came with its amazing moments like first kisses, nights where I went to bed at 4am with my ears ringing, amazing trips to places on my bucket list, and becoming a mother, but actually… right now is good.
Isn’t it time to grow out of having spots yet? Seriously. Thank god for concealer. May just do those dark circles while I’m at it.